Featured Divorce Story
| The private side of Christain revival |
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Created On: 2011-04-19 |
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For nearly 32 years,married 24 of them I had been "IN" love with my husband. He was my everything, I always considered him in all that I did. 2 years ago he became a born again christian which is all good, I told him that I was not ready to do that but if I saw he was having a fun time of it then maybe I would want some too and join him. In all honesty becoming christian has NOT bought out the better side of him, for the last 2 years it has been such hard emotional work.
He moved out of our marital bed/room, its a sin to lust after the flesh!!! To be a strong christian he has read that he needs to surround himself with like minded people, non christians are negative and discouraging, it was to the point where he would not eat with myself and the children, just lock himself in his room and read the bible, no interaction with the family.He is very judgemental of us, our children are never praised for anything that they do and they do a lot, they work in our shop as I also work fulltime in the evenings to supplement our income- he got caught sleeping on the job pre- Christianity so left our family with out any income to pay the mortgage and other bills. All his comments are negative and put downs, it is very wearisome.He has just given away some expensive business equipment to the church after we had a discussion and I said to him that I don't mind them borrowing the gear but he was not to give it away, 2 nights later he gave it away. Makes me feel like my opinion doesn't matter much. The business is struggling along in these tough economic times and his lack of enthusiasm drives me nuts, yes things are tough but you got to make the most of what is in front of you and not wish for something you haven't got, there are times that I feel I am more christian at heart than what he is, some nights we have people who have been drinking come in to order, he won't serve them and yet its OK when he wants to have a drink, the hypocrisy of it all is unreal. Demands that the business be closed on certain days, like Sundays, he's not there and doesn't have to work anyway, likewise he wants us to close over Easter sure, if some miracle happens and we are dropped a sum of cash to cover everything.
Oh there is so much more and at the beginning I said that I was in love with him for over 30 years, until the night he told me that I was "nothing but a leech on his back"! Everything changed in that instant, not only did I fall out of love with him but I stopped loving him all together. I mourn the loss of the good years but I look toward the future with much laughter and life that has been missing for so long. Sad thing is he has not noticed anything has changed, which indicates, I never mattered anyway.
Thanks for listening, I have not had anyone to talk to over the last 2 years while dealing with this, the strain shows in my weight loss, the start of smoking and the lack of laughter and fun that I used to be. I want the old me back.
lets hope I get there soon.
Thanks so much
Anon |
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