Articles - Essential Reading
If your a single educated woman in NZ you may have to look further afield for a spouse.
| NZ Marriage Market Leaves Mature Educated Women Out! |
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Author: Divorce Anthropologist | Subject: Essential Reading |
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Created On: 2008-04-29 | Last Edited On: 2008-04-29 |
Shortage of Men Leaves Older Women Out!
As I am now forty-five and still single after divorcing 10 years ago, I felt I had to find some reason I had not met Mr Right…my Darcy! It could be that I have spent too much time watching my favourite movie … Pride and Prejudice, and wishing life and love were still that simple! From my own personal observations, there are not enough single eligible bachelors in their 30s and 40s - It certainly feels like a man-drought! So how bad is it really?
NZ Research confirms that there are less available men in what is termed ‘couple forming’ age groups. In 2006 a report funded by the Department of Labour (NZ) identified a recent reversal of sex ratios in New Zealand. From the 1980s onward, what used to be a surplus of men has been replaced by a surplus of women! In 2001 there were 53,000 more women in the 20-49 year age group. The only other time in our history where there was a shortage of males was post war I and II!
A higher number of New Zealand born men than women have migrated and many of those have married foreign born women. Further acerbating the problem is that older men often select younger women in second time marriages also leaving less on the shelf for older women.
Not only are there not enough men to go around, on closer inspection the situation is more desperate with increasing differences in levels of education between men and women, which may answer my query as to the apparent lack of ‘eligible’ single men. In my forties and a woman of education it would be great to meet someone my intellectual equal and someone I had a great deal in common with outside of and interest in reproducing. My ‘date to mate’ days are over! I suspect there are many women out there who would love a passionate caring relationship. However more mature women no longer want to have children so that former reasons for mate selection are gone. Women want soul mates, intellectual equals, someone with similar interests. Consider this – without more child bearing and the issues and needs arising from have a family, there has to be something else to sustain a long term relationship.
But wait there is worse! The situation becomes more serious for educated women when we consider that there is not only a shortage of eligible men, but also that there are fewer educated men than women.
The ratio of well educated women relative to men is increasing. For instance in 2001 there were a third more educated womenthan men aged 25-30 in New Zealand. These women are now in their mid to late thirties and facing a lack of single, educated, eligible men.
The decline in educated men has been attributed to there being less need for men since women are increasing their contribution to household income and in many instances becoming the main income earner. With women working there is a noticeable strain at home with women ‘theoretically’ having more marital power.
In the past men typically ‘married down’ securing women less educated than themselves and who were more focused on having and rearing children whilst they were the major breadwinner. Everyone knew their place! Increasingly women in New Zealand are having to ‘marry down’ and partner with lesser educated men. It is possible therefore that increased domestic conflict and numbers divorcing is a result of gender and educational differences. Educated women expect to be involved in decisions relating to property and money and likewise expect their husbands to take more responsibility in parenting and running a home.
For many educated women who naturally seek higher quality partners there is a clear absence of potential partners in the pool. With this absence more educated women are declining partnering altogether, some even abstaining from having children.
Research overseas confirms the trend for educated women to ‘opt out’. Research carried out in the USA where there does not appear to be a noticeable shortage of men, also identifies that educated women are far less likely to find educated male partners or be divorced. Economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett collected data in 2001 on high-achieving women. These women were both high-earners and with graduate degrees. The research found that the more women earned, the more likely they were to be single and without children. As a recent survey of 100,000 professionals by Prof. Wilson in the US demonstrates, a large number of professional women remain in the workplace but "opt out" of having families. This recent research confirms that. having an M.B.A. puts you at 50% more at risk of divorce
New Zealand men may have the luxury of having more choice and partnering with more economically viable women, but will these relationships last. Women are still dominating the queues for getting divorced and searching for something better, and many are abstaining from commitment themselves.
So we are left with more questions than answers. Are men able or willing to take up the slack at home? If not why not? Will marriage and family continue to be a short term project rather than a lifelong commitment? And lastly, rather than import more young female Chinese nurses could our New Zealand government consider importing more single eligible men to counteract the negative odds for New Zealand women.
Divorce-anthropologist@www.divorce.co.nz©
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